You probably assume from the title I’m talking about Rachael Ray and her pet food line. Not so. This was on our grocery list recently:

Dog Food with Heart

In case you don’t speak German, I’ll translate the key detail. YES! With Hearty Pieces of Heart.

Now you probably thought the same thing I did when I saw that: just exactly how much heart is in this stuff? Review of the back label revealed a mere 4%. I don’t know how that compares to other brands, because most of the pet food reviews I read only talk about how much corn and other “fillers” they include. But immediately a whole other line of thought sprang forth in my mind. That’s awful. Or is that offal? Would Chris Cosentino approve of this food? Does he even have a dog? If he doesn’t, does he care about organ meats outside of his restaurant?

Full disclosure, I probably have an unnatural fascination with Chris Cosentino and his Offal Good cooking. I say “unnatural” because I’m a vegetarian and so generally avoid eating entrails of anything outside artichokes. And when I met him once in San Francisco and recounted the conversation to my coworkers, who had actually witnessed said meeting, they thought I was crazy. What’s more is when I read Heart of the Artichoke, which was not written by Chris, but by the brilliant David Tanis (aside: I’ve not met him, but would love the chance to one day, so if you know him maybe you can put in a good word), I was compelled to cook tongue when I came to that last Winter Menu. Part of it was the brilliant prose preceding the recipe, but the other was a thought of WWCCD? I’ve also taken the Which Food Network Chef is Your Spirit Animal quiz 29 times, trying in vain to select the right answers to return what I know is true, but somehow Bobby Flay always comes up. I’m going to remain suspicious about this quiz until someone else reports back to me they scored a different Spirit Animal Chef.

So anywho, this is really about that can of dog food, which will probably never be opened or consumed on account of this is the dog it was purchased for:


Don’t be surprised if you see me walking Puddle on the street one day dressed in an I heart Offal shirt (the dog, not me).


3 Thoughts on “Dog Food With Heart. Food Network Star Approved. Sort of.

  1. Da Guzz on 10 April, 2013 at 21:17 said:

    I got Alton Brown: You’re a gentleman and a scholar, which means you know how to rock a bowtie when it feels right. If anyone tells you you’re doing something wrong, you can always win the argument by staring deep into their eyes and yelling “SCIENCE!!!” You’re most compatible with Bobby Flay and Paula Deen. Watch out for Rachael Ray.

    • Thanks for the good news a) the quiz isn’t just part of Bobby Flay’s attempt to brainwash us all to…Grill it. Just grill it! Know where I can find a good book on BBQ? and b) we’re totally compatible based on our Food Network Spirit Chefs.

  2. Da Guzz on 11 April, 2013 at 13:14 said:

    I catch Steven Raichlen’s show on PBS some weekend mornings. He has several books, one of which I own.

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