I’ve been asked before why I like running. I could answer with some eloquent spiel about how it allows me to achieve unparalleled mental clarity or renders a tremendous feeling of personal accomplishment, but the real joy is that I can fall off the track and pick right back up without a gaggle of pissed off teammates whinging about how I’m not committed enough. You may have noticed I hadn’t posted a run graph in a while (what’s that, you hoped I wouldn’t write any more running posts with lame graphs? Hey, see that header at the top?!), but fear not, I am still in training mode for the big 15k in November. Anyhow, I finally finished a full honest 5k today thanks to the near perfect weather conditions and a persistent “coach” telling me to get my kicks on and get out the door. Now that we’re settling into the new school schedule, I will fit more runs in during the week, and I expect my pace to vastly improve toot sweet.
At the end of my run I noticed some frightened looking children staring at me. I’m guessing it’s in part that I still need to work on breath control so my head doesn’t turn 50 shades of crimson, but it could also be that I look like some polka dotted leper (not to make light of this very serious condition) trying to inconspicuously scratch my upper upper thigh in my bunhuggers. This is all thanks to the little jerk-off chiggers who emerge late summer and feast like they’ve stumbled upon the first Taco Bell in 200 miles on the Kansas Turnpike. Every time I read the best way to avoid chigger bites is to wear long sleeves and shower right away if you’re near basically anything outside, I want to find the smug author and give them a swift kick in their doof bum. IT’S SUMMER! HALLO?! Why don’t I just hang out in the WC all season wearing a turtleneck and a heavy layer of DEET? At least the Wiki article lent some honesty: Because chigger wounds are a complex combination of enzymatic and the resulting mechanical damage, plus allergy and immune responses, plus possible secondary bacterial infection subject to local influences, no one remedy works equally well for most people. I do think the whole thing could have been summed up more succinctly though. I would have written something more like this:
Chiggers are the larvae of harvest mites, a type of arachnid. And they will bite the crap out of you in obnoxious places because they are self-serving a**holes. Just deal with it and try not to scratch your junk in public.